What do you think of my writing style?

Your style is pretty good, though there are a few grammar/punctuation mistakes you might want to comb through. I ume it's the beginning of whatever you're writing (novel?) and it doesn't really clench me as a reader in, but then again not all openings do. I do like your use of... unusual adjectives, I guess you would say? Like, "Herculean." It enriches the story (: