A little depressed, need a gay pick-me-up, stat!?

Ok, I'm 19 and I'm doing to whole community college thing and still living at home for 2 more years : ( I've got my gay friends at school but their either very flamboyant or butch to the extreme... I'm just not like that. I'm the type of person that I don't care if you know I'm gay but I look and act "heteroual" on the outside. Anyway, back to my sob story, I don't have anyone to connect to, to talk to about what the hell is going on. I've been having dreams (not dirty, get your mind out of the gutter) where I find that perfect guy from school and we sit in front of the fireplace and just talk, where I'm happy just to be near him. I want it so damn bad yet I can't seem to find it! Tell me that you know what I'm talking about. Is it easier when I get out of this town???